Things Seen at BYU

Since this is such a special place, I figured I'd share something that makes it so special. Specifically,  few things that you literally can not go a day at BYU without seeing.

(pardon the creeper photos, but it had to be authentic, right?)

1. Captain American Tshirts.

I don't know if this is a national phenomenon that I just missed, or if Mormons have some sort of affinity to captain america, but you literally can not go a day without seeing a captain america shirt. and not just one. No, you see dozens. Every. Single. Day.

2. Porn Kills Love Tshirts.

What is this you say? This is what that is:

"No one would ever wear that in public" should be the next thing you say. But oh no, people do.

(I'm actually super proud of this pic, I managed to get it in like the 10 seconds she stood up to speak in class)

On a regular basis they do. I see people in this shirt every day. And as much as I support and believe in the cause, no one should ever wear a shirt that has the word "porn" on it, in any reference or context, EVER. Biggest. Turn-off. Ever.

3. Jesus Sandals.

Seattle loves birks. Utah loves Jesus Sandals.

(I didn't actually get a picture of these cause a cold snap hit and people started wearing real shoes again)

They are everywhere. I swear, I had never seen them before I got to Utah, and now I see them every day on almost every girl I see. Despite the fact that they are pretty similar to birks, and I love my birks, I can not stand them.

The only thing I do love about them is their many names: Jesus Sandals, Jerusalem Cruisers, Air Bethelehems (Jerusalem Cruisers being my favorite.)

And no matter what, they will always be better than the shoe choice of a guy in my communications class:

His roommate's girlfriend insulted his shoes the first week of school, and told him that he'd never get married at BYU if he didn't wear the right shoes. So what did he do? He stopped wearing shoes altogether. We are 8 weeks into the semester here at BYU, and he has not worn shoes since the first week of school.

4. A building evacuated because the fire alarm is going off

Okay, this doesn't actually happen every day. But it happens an alarming (hah puns) amount of the time. Today it was the Kimball Tower. Last week it was the library. It's not usual to see a crowd of students standing outside a building while the alarm goes off.

5. Mustaches.

Here at BYU, the honor code prevents guys from growing a beard. However, mustaches are still okay. I don't know who made that decision, what they were thinking, or why is hasn't been changed yet, but that's the way it is.

And it is the nastiest thing ever. I can handle a mustache when its paired with a beard. But mustaches on their own? Gross. So gross. And it's about to get worse, because November. Boys here can't do no shave November, because they aren't allowed to have a beard. So they all do Movember, and grow a mustache. Ewwwwwwwww.

I had more to add, but forgot most of it due to being in class and then dinner, so I'll have to post a second edition of this sometime. As for now, I just look forward to the day when it gets cold enough to cover up the tshirts, and put real (or any) shoes on.




(if you're curious about the porn kills love shirts, here's the website behind that campaign.
http://www.fightthenewdrug.org/ )

Hide and Seek

I am considering a theatre minor, which means I have a few classes in the Harris Fine Arts Center here at BYU. It is a crazy building. It has so many theatres and floors an absolute maze of rooms and shops hidden in the basement. Staircases lead to staircases, and there are four different ways to get in and out of almost every room. It is so crazy that when they give you a tour the first week, they call is disorientation rather than orientation. I joke with one of my friends (who works in the program and knows her way around the entire building) that if she dragged me into the center and then ran, I would never be able to find my way out.

We've also joked about how much fun it would be to play hide and seek in the building.

Apparently we're not the only ones who have thought that. This came out in this week's school paper, and promptly went viral. It was trending on reddit and tumblr, and the picture I got was taken off of the app ifunny.

I can promise you that if those students were theatre majors, they we're never found because they simply disappeared into the building. With how many hiding places there are, the campus police never even had a chance.

I can honestly say that I am so proud of my peers right now. And now this is on my bucket list.

Construction at BYU

Here at BYU, as at most Universities (so I've heard), there is always construction going on. I swear every time they finish one project, they start another one.

 They just finished that new Life Sciences building, but none of the parking lot area around it is finished, and since it is right next to the Marb science building, there is constant construction noise during my bio and nutrition classes. It's great.

And I have honestly no idea what is going on here, but it's been under construction since the first week of school, and for some reason it makes the walk to class really annoying. It's probably just my own impatience, because it in no way blocks the walk way, but whatever.

Anyway. Here at BYU, we are very trusting (almost to a fault), and so we tend to leave things like building supplies out. And what happens when you leave building supplies out around college students?

They make ancient temples out of left over bricks.

I think my favorite part is the detail in the stacking, and the fact that whoever built them went way out of their way to find branches and leaves to put around the temples. These things are actually pretty impressive too. Major props to who built them! and I'm curious how long they'll stick around before the construction crews need the bricks to finish their projects...

The Deer of BYU

Despite being in the middle of a city (if you can call Provo a city...), there are deer all over the BYU campus. To me, this is whatever. I come from the Northwest, where there are deer everywhere all the time. But I guess to a lot of BYU students, this is a new and strange thing to be around. Almost annoyingly so. For the first weeks of school, whenever someone spotted a deer, literally everyone would stop to take a picture of the deer (or with the deer). 

Major pedestrian traffic-jams that drove me crazy. Its just a deer ladies and gentlemen. Luckily that chaos has died down for the most part. Doesn't mean the deer are gone though, you can still see them running all over campus. Today's story of crazy events that happen at BYU is about a deer.

I was talking with one of the guys in my classes a couple days ago, and looked at me and went "I have to tell you what happened to me yesterday!" and proceeded to tell me this story.

He was walking to class, and was kind of in his own zone, listening to music and minding his own business. All of a sudden, it feels like someone is tackling him from the side. He tries to brace himself, but just gets taken down, and the wind totally gets knocked out of him. He manages to look up to see who the heck just knocked him over, and he sees two deer run off. The deer had RUN INTO HIM and totally knocked him over.

Because it was in between classes, the area was full of people. He said everyone had completely frozen, gone silent, and they were all just staring at him. Literally no one could believe what they had just seen. Finally one guy broke the silence and called out "dude, you okay?" and all of a sudden it was like the trance was broken. People started moving again, my friend got up, and it was like nothing had even happened.

The best part of the story? He was looking at the BYU snapchat story later, and SOMEONE GOT IT ON CAMERA. They had been filming the deer (remember the obsession with deer?) and happened to get the whole thing on camera. He said it was one of the strangest and funniest things he'd ever seen.

Second best part? He went to the police station yesterday and asked if he could get the security camera footage from that day, time, and place. The officer looked at him weird, and asked why. He kinda of explained what happened, and said he was hoping he could have a copy of the film to keep. The officer started laughing, and said that he was about the 6th person to ask for it, but because he was the one who it actually happened to, they'd try to find it for him. Which means that 5 people who happened to see it happen had already gone and asked for the security footage of it happening, just so they could watch the poor kid get knocked over again!

I still haven't stopped laughing about all of this.

Watering the Steps

The Landscaping crew here at BYU is pretty awesome. They do a really good job of making Utah pretty, which in my mind is not an easy task (kidding, I'm getting used to it here). Anyway, it takes a lot to keep grass green and plants alive somewhere where its almost October and still 90 degrees every day, so the landscaping crew works hard.

But what I don't understand, is why we need to be watering the stairs.

That is a sprinkler that is aimed entirely at the stairs. It is not watering any of the plants. And the sad thing is, this happens all over campus. Our stairs and sidewalks are kept very wet and happy, thank you very much.

I don't understand. Call me crazy, but aren't sprinklers intended for watering plants?



(I really do love the landscaping crew. If I could choose any on campus job, that's the one I want. No joke.)

Breakfast for Dinner

Breakfast for Dinner are three words I hate hearing. 

I really don't like breakfast foods. Pancakes do not excite me, eggs make me nauseous, and toast is just gross. Call me crazy, but I would rather eat leftovers from dinner for my breakfast any day. However, considering that I am eating from a college cafeteria, I don't really have that option any more. I'm just glad they have biscuits almost every morning, and waffle makers 24/7. Other than those, I usually stick to the fruit bar, and sometimes grab some yogurt. The breakfast hater in me loves the sight of the yogurt bar in the morning, especially the toppings you see on the far left.

That's right. Someone else out there who also hates breakfast decided to make it better by having gummy worms, m&m's and chocolate chips available to put on your yogurt (kinda gross, but its the thought that counts). They also have the hot fudge and caramel canisters full in the mornings for your waffles, which warms my little heart.

But anyway, I walked into the cannon center for dinner tonight, and it was the worst sight of my life. Breakfast for dinner. Eggs everywhere. I was so annoyed. I ended up grabbing some eggs and covering them in salsa, and I was on my way to the fruit bar to grab something edible, when I saw the most wonderful sight.

Deep fried french toast sticks. 

I don't think I've ever been so happy in my life. There is no way that those qualify as a dinner food, or even a food. They are so desert, but since they were not in the desert section of the cafeteria, they counted as my dinner tonight.

I have no regrets.

Blue Friday

Being a native Seattleite, I am very proud of my Seahawks. (and also willing to admit that I am a bandwagon hawks fan, please don’t judge me) Hawks fans believe in Blue Fridays, where every Friday, no matter where you are, you wear your Seahawks gear to show support for your team. I love Blue Fridays. Why?

Well for one, it makes it so it takes me about three minutes to get ready for school. I don’t have to decide what to wear, the Seahawks decided for me. And it’s great. It’s a valid excuse for not caring what I wear on Fridays.

Two, it helps you make instant friends on campus. You see another hawks shirt, you make eye contact, and it’s this instant agreement that you and that random stranger are friends. It’s pretty fun to wander around campus and see just how many people here love the hawks.

Well, a couple weeks ago it was Friday, so I was wearing my hawks shirt. I walked into the cannon center for breakfast, and the worker who slid my card (who I love dearly, she always says good morning and compliments every single person who walks in), looked at my shirt and asked me the fateful question:

“Wait, is that the team that we’re playing tomorrow?”

Is that the team that we’re playing tomorrow?

Okay. First off, this is an NFL team. NFL. Not college. You know, the team that won the Superbowl two years ago, and tragically lost last year? And second, there are posters literally all over campus talking about the upcoming game against Boise State. Boise. All over campus.

I honestly didn’t even know how to respond. I kind of stuttered for a second before saying “haha, no.” and walking away.

But that brings us to the fun reality of Utah. Unless it’s a BYU sports team, Utah does not care about sports. At all. It’s actually pretty crazy. I see hawks shirts, I see the occasional Utah Jazz shirt, and that’s it. It’s very strange. I think it’s a Mormon thing, stemming from the fact that most LDS families won’t watch or support sports on Sundays, due to the commandment to keep the Sabbath day holy (that’s one of the Ten Commandments y’all, every Christian believes in that even if they don’t act on that belief). But it’s crazy. You mention Studio C and every BYU student starts quoting their sketches, but you mention the Seahawks and half the time you get a blank stare from who you’re talking to. Gotta love BYU.

The BYU v UCLA Game

If any of you follow BYU football, you'd know that we had been doing sorta well. We had won our first two games, barely. Literally both games were won in last minute miracle plays.

Our third game was against UCLA, and we were predicted to do terribly. But school spirit, watch the game anyway. The girls dorms have crappy TV's that don't work, so we went and crashed one of the boys dorms, where someone was a genius and rented a projector, so this is how we watched the game:

We took down the framed photo of Christ (because really, priorities) and hooked the projector up to one of the guys laptops and watched the game like this. The room was actually pretty crowded.

It made it pretty fun. BYU was winning for most of the game, so it was worth watching, and everyone was having a good time! Especially these kids:

It's not a college football watching party without beer pong, right? Ha, notice the bottles on the foosball table: Sprite and Barq's rootbeer. Oh BYU.

But back to the game. It was crazy! Super fun to watch. About halfway through, the guy's laptop died, and there was a mad dash among the boys to see who could get theirs on and streaming the game first. It was impressive, we only missed about a minute of the game because of it. Between the projector and the industrial speakers one of the guys brought out, you could hear and see everything perfectly.

But then, in the last few minutes, UCLA decided that they didn't want to lose their home game, and pulled ahead. It was devastating. In the last minute or so, BYU got the ball back. We were all on the edge of our seats, hoping they could pull off a 3rd end-of-game-miracle. In the final make or break play, with all of our eyes glued to the wall, some asshole unplugged the projector. I've never heard a room scream so loud, and then so many people all rush the same laptop computer, trying to get a view of what was happening. 

Long story short, we lost. 

Looking back, the projector incident is hilarious. We never did figure out who unplugged it, and whether it was an accident or not. But oh well. Still a chaotic, enjoyable night! (except for that one asshole. We all would've liked to be able to watch our team lose the game thank you very much.)

Stoplight Dance

My hour-and-45-minutes class got out an hour early today (gotta love college) which gave me the perfect time to update the blog cause boy was it a fun weekend.

Friday night started off with the Stoplight Dance, because it's safety week! (which literally means nothing.)

What is a stoplight dance you say? Let me tell you. Or rather. Show you:

That's right. Dating is such a game here, that we had to make it easy on everyone. Literally identify your relationship status with your clothing, and go to a dance where everyone else is doing the same. A tad bit strange if you think about it.

But of course my whole hall went. (Wearing green I might add)

But thanks to a lot of BYU students driving to the UCLA game, and the fact that this is kind of a weird concept for a dance, not very many people were there. Which just made it even more awkward.

But hey. My hall had a party cause we could've cared less about what anyone though of us, and why not have fun? 

(I actually think what would've made this a whole lot better (other than just more people in general) would be a bit of alcohol. Not that I condone drinking, but this just seems like one of those things that would work better if everyone was a little buzzed. So friends in sororities, keep this in mind.)

But the real only-happens-at-byu would be the swing dancing. I don't know what it is about Mormons, but something about the culture means you have to teach your kids how to dance. SO just about every mormon kid you ever meet will have taken ballroom or swing or salsa lessons at some point in their life (guilty, I took ballroom lessons for three years and swing for one).

So you have dances like this, playing the clean versions of whatever music is popular lately and "watch me" way too many times, and then all of a sudden a swing song will come on and everyone grabs a partner and starts dancing, like these two:

(sorry for the bad pic, but when you're taking creeper photos, especially this close, you've really only got one chance...)

It's the randomest phenomenon and I have never seen it anywhere else. 

So I guess that's what Mormons are good for. Awkward dances but good dance skills. 

Chastity Bars

Here at BYU, we are very proud of our Honor Code. (Or so I hear. There's quite a mixed response on the honor code...)

Part of the Honor Code is the rules about the opposite gender being in your living areas. They're pretty much not allowed. However, they are allowed in the lobby areas of the dorms (but only until midnight)! So that's not so bad, right? There's a pool table, and a (usually broken) Foosball table, and a bunch of couches and chairs.

Oh, but we have to be careful, cause you never know what might happen on those couches or chairs. Which is why most of the chairs look like this :

With those nice wooden arm rests to make sure that only one person could possibly comfortably sit there. But the couches are normal, right?

WRONG. That lovely looking couch contains what we affectionately refer to as "chastity bars." Hidden under those oh-so-comfortable looking cushions, are metal bars. The cushions aren't removable, so you can't see them, but boy are they there and boy are they uncomfortable. They line up right along with the divisions of the cushions, and they are solid. You don't feel them if you are sitting on the couch like a normal person would, but if you are laying on the couch, or sitting on the dividing line between cushions, you feel them alright. Keeps you from cuddling up to someone on the couch or ending up vertical on the couch with someone else (although, considering these couches are in the common room of the building, I don't know why you'd be doing that there anyway....)

Even better than the chastity bars however, are the signs at the doorways to the halls of rooms:

Ah, the love can be felt. No boys in the residential halls! Except for Wednesdays and Fridays from 7-9 PM, which are visiting hours :) And if the boy is in your room, the door must be open at a 90 degree angle, and the RA must know that he is present :) Hooray for the honor code! 

(just to clarify, this doesn't actually bother me at all. I couldn't care less, and I am happy to abide by the honor code. But the chastity bars make it hard to cram 8 girls on a couch for a movie night)

The Ring Check

**refer to previous post when the young age of marriage for Mormons was mentioned**

So in my communications class, we do a lot of communicating (haha sorry, its late...) in small groups about whatever is being discussed in class. As such, I choose where to sit very strategically. Usually near either a girl who looks nice, or a guy whose attractive.

TodayI went the attractive guy route, and ended up in between two guys, one who I knew and one that I met at that moment. I ended up spending most of the talking time talking to the one I just met, so I got to know him a bit. He was really nice, seemed young, the usual. Late in the class, were having a conversation about music preferences, and he starts his sentence, "well my wife likes..."

I swear I didn't even hear the rest of what he said. I was a bit shell shocked. (don't worry, I recovered and he never knew I was surprised)

I had forgotten the number one, cardinal rule of meeting anyone at BYU:

ALWAYS RING CHECK.

It doesn't matter if they look 16. You check. Because there are so many married and engaged people here at BYU, that you never know. You just always have to check that left hand to know exactly the marital status of the person you are talking to, so you don't get surprised.

And let me tell you, as an 18 year old freshman, that's weird. Really weird.

The MRS Degree

Mormons get married young, it's a fact. It's a cultural norm that is very strong, and very well known. The number one piece of advice that I got when telling people that I was headed to BYU was "don't get married freshman year." (Which actually really bugged me, because if you knew me well enough to be giving me advice based on my school, you should've known well enough to not say that to me)

But it also means that mormon girls are obsessed with getting married from a young age. Many don't finish school because they get married and have kids pretty quickly, and school falls on the back burner. It's known as getting your MRS Degree. 

The girls in my hall have the MRS fever badly. We are two weeks into school and I have heard the phrases "I'm never going to get asked out" and "I'm going to die alone" way too many times. Just earlier today my roommate was on the phone with her mom complaining about how the boys were never going to pay attention to her.

But the worst (or maybe best) of it all, is The Wall.

The Wall is in our hall bathroom, and is literally a wall of photos of attractive guys from around campus, with their names and locations listed. It grows every day as girls jump on the bandwagon of being fairly creepy to the guys on campus.

A few days after it was posted, someone left a sticky note complaining about how horrible it was, and then The Wall got serious. A mission statement was posted, along with a list of rules (which grew as sticky note complainer left more notes)

Written on the paper:

Alma 48:11 And Moroni was a strong and a mighty man; he was a man of perfect understanding; yea, a man that did not delight in bloodshed; a man whose soul did joy in the liberty and the freedom of his country, and his brethren from bondage and slavery;

17. Yea, verily, verily I say unto you, if all men had been, and were, and would ever be, like unto Mornoni, behold, the very powers of hell would have been shaken forever; yea, the devil would never have power over the hearts of the children of men

This wall is a wall of hope. When it's 8:30 on a Friday Night, and you're in your room in footie pajamas watching netflix, The Wall is here. When everyone in your econ class is dating one another and you're sitting in the back, The Wall is here. When you go to church and the front row is completely couples, The Wall is here. This Wall is a reminder that there are single, attractive, stalwart young men living the gospel at BYUand that God has someone out there for you, a single, attractive, stalwart young woman who is living the gospel. This man will be someone who is a worthy priesthood holder and loves the Lord more than you. This Wall is to get inspiration from those awesome young men on campus, one of which will someday be your BFE (Best Friend for Eternity).

I laugh every time I read it. Here we are, seeking inspiration from creeper photos of guys on campus. One of the more recent rules is that the young man needs to know that you are taking his photo, but that has not really been listen to, and there are still some sketchy, from a distance photos up there. That rule has also added a few pictures where the guy is clearly looking at the camera, but also clearly confused, as seen in the photo in the top left below (as no one says "hey, let me take your picture so I can hang it on the wall in my bathroom!).

Other rules include taking a photo down if one of the girls starts dating the boy, and attempting to list positive qualities, about them, not just that they're attractive. In the quest for a more wholesome approach to this (is that even possible?), one of the girls went above and beyond, and interviewed a couple guys for the wall. So we have their photos and a whole bio of them.

I apologize for the awkward cropping, but the bio included their CONTACT INFORMATION, and I felt that wasn't something to be posting on the world wide web. The bio also included likes and dislikes, age, full name, where they served their mission, height, eye color, hair color, and positive and negative qualities of the young man. You really can't get much creepier than this.

So that's my hall, and the rest of BYU freshman girls. Desperate for a relationship, dying for the boys to talk to them. (And if you think thats bad, don't even get me started on what the provo yikyak feed looks like.) Gotta love BYU.

**The scripture at the beginning of The Wall sheet is from the Book of Mormon, and if you have any questions about that or any of the other LDS references in this post, feel free to leave them in the comments!**

Bananas

I don't know about the rest of the country, but in my high school, you could not eat a banana straight from the peel without someone making some sort of dirty joke. You could break it off, or find some other way to eat it, but just sticking a banana in your mouth was not something you wanted your friends to see you doing.

Well. At BYU, there are no dirty jokes. (at least not outside my head) So you see people eating bananas like they were meant to be eaten all the time. Things like this (see below) can happen, and no one says anything.

(Except me, who made a joke, which is why she posed like this). To me, the astounding number of students eating bananas like normal people, and the lack of any jokes surrounding the banana consumption is just strange. A good strange, but at the same time just weird.

Climbing the Walls

Here at BYU, we get a wide range of student life. From single and living in apartments or at home, to married and with kids. I think it's awesome how many small children I see all over campus, all the time, but it's also a little odd. Not what you would expect at a university.

There is also a group babysitting mentality, as I like to call it. Everyone trusts everyone here, and so parents just let their children run free. There is no fear of a crazy college kid causing them harm, in fact, it's like having hundreds of people watching out for your kids at all times. (at least, that's what I' guessing parents are thinking....)

So I'm in the student center the other night, at about 9 o'clock, working on homework with my sister, and there are two small kiddos running around, parents oblivious or just uncaring. These kids are everywhere, and often out of sight. After hearing some strange noises, and getting a little worried (you can take the teacher out of the day care but you can't take the day care rules out of the teacher), I got up to look around the corner and see what was going on. And what do I see?

Notice the child in the background of that photo. When I walked around the corner, he was touching the ceiling. While I was busy taking a photo, some other, more responsible, students walked over and suggested to the child that maybe climbing the grate wasn't the best idea. So he JUMPED down, and he and his brother ran off screaming through the student center again. While their parents sat oblivious to the whole thing. Ahhh, gotta love BYU :)

Why the Blog?

As a new freshman here at BYU, I am still extremely attached to my squad from back home. The group message is constantly going, and I've been sharing the antics of the University with them. They told me I needed to write a book. I decided that a blog was a bit easier. Hence the birth of this beautiful page, S*** That Happens At BYU.